Life Sucks
by colwag
Summary: A story about my personal journey home. As you can assume, it was a school assignment. Very loosly based on the Oddysey. Constuctive critsism appreciated! One-shot.


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Life Sucks

1:11. what exactly was I to do? I decided to move my black 6 over to that red 7, but in doing so, I leave my other black six to dry.

1:12. I clicked on the face down card, ant truth behold, it was that ace that has been evading be all game. This one was almost over. I quickly started to click on the various cards, sending them to there piles. One after another they fell. They were not going to stop me this time. I had this game in the bag. Already at the sixes. I could just feel the wave of excitement come to me. I was going to take it. This was it!

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!

I was quickly shoved aside as the wave of students began to flood out of the door. I had no choice but to shut down and surrender that game of solitaire. Saved by the bell you lucky little dude. Saved by the bell. I closed the program and decided to head out of the computer lab. Why not? It's Friday and can go home and get some well-deserved R&R. Not that I don't do that every day. That's just my style, I guess. As I walk down the hall, avoiding all the people going in the opposite direction, which is normal, seeing as how my route takes a shortcut through the practice field, and the parking lot was in the other direction. While thinking about how my route was so awkward compared to the majority of the student body, I ran into a bit of the student body. Normally, one feels like a complete moron when they are caught in a head on collision with somebody, but I don't usually care much about that. I quickly murmur "sorry" before heading on my way. I didn't know who she was, nor do I really care. I try not to worry too much about things like that, or anything at all for that matter. I decide to turn the corner in my route, and thus heading face-to-face with my "friend" Miles. He walked over to me with that usual stupid grin on my face; his short blond hair resembled a fuzz ball at the moment, not which really matters in too much of anything.

"Hey Sam" he tells me. A normal greeting for all sorts of occasions. No one can really deny that.

"Hey Mile" I quietly murmured back, with no real emotion heading my voice. Why should there be? It was just another day in another week in another month in another year. How much could a little emotion do, anyways?

"What's up?" Gee, what a perfectly bland question this is. People always expect something exciting to be popping up in every day of everybody's life. Then again, how exactly does one start a conversation with absolutely nothing to talk about?

"The sky." I usually have a lot of fun being a smart-alec like that. Makes a boring conversation all the more interesting. Miles, however, didn't seem to appreciate it.

"Why do you always have to say things like that? I mean, if someone asks you 'What's up?' they're expecting you to come up with a response that tells them what you have been doing."

"Hey you asked me 'what's up?' and I told you the truth. The sky."

"Let me rephrase that…"

Ah. The wonders of being smart-alecky. Took a conversation that was going nowhere and made it kinda-sort-of-almost interesting. As you can guess, we're a riot at parties.

I suppose I should tell you about myself at some point. My name is Sam Wagner. And incase you didn't notice by the page-and-a-half of me just walking 20 feet, I can be a thinker, and quite argumentive. I am about six feet tall, brown hair, yadda yadda yadda. I know you don't want to hear me go on about myself like that. You want action! Adventure! Romance! Discovery! Things that don't happen in a normal person's life! This probably won't happen here. After all, I am just walking home.

I and Miles continue our pointless, boring conversation about nothing in particular. I didn't really care. I needed to get home to do yet another annoying, mandatory homework assignment. Then again, I could hold it off all weekend and put it off until the last day, like so many other Americans. Stalling. The American way!

Anyhow, we eventually went to our little shortcut through some ranch or another. Last year, when I was at a different school, I constantly ridiculed my brother for taking this shortcut, for after all, it did say NO TRESPASSERS and CLUB MEMBERS ONLY. It can feel so good to be a hypocrite. The door was one of that metal bar swing doors. The door was also locked. Even though we knew the combination on the lock, I personally decide to go through the opening in the barbed wire fence. Miles, on the other hand, decided to attempt to maneuver the 1-and-a-half inch lock through the 1-inch crevice. Must have had a bad experience with barbed wire or something. By the time I'm through, he finally gets the lock through. I don't wait up. Aren't I considerate? Hey, it's hot out. I'm not going to fry to wait up for him. So I'm walking along the farm I really shouldn't be walking on, when this horse-lady comes up to me. Unfortunately for all you sci-fi lovers out there, this was just a lady on a horse. And a mean looking one at that. (The lady, not the horse)

"Club members only. Go back." God this women had the meanest sounding voice ever.

"It's just a shortcut; we go through here every day. We never did any harm here." I manage to reply.

"And today is the last day. Heaven only knows when you're just 'passing through' and you get in front of a horse, who throws off his rider, breaking his back." Did I mention this women's likeness to Curella De Ville?

"Fine" I turn around, getting ready for the long, car-and-dog-filed way around, when I finally see Miles there, who finally decided to go through the fence.

"What's up?" God, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that. Truth was, there was more than the atmosphere hovering above me this time.

"Lady over there. Says we can't pass." Aren't I just a regular Shakespeare?

"What do you mean, we can't pass?"

"We're not club members."

"We've passed through here all the time! Why is there a problem now?" There he goes. I may not be willing to argue with authority, but Miles is.

"You talk to her about it." Normally, I wouldn't support his arguments, but he's might just get us a free Get out of Jail free card, so I'll follow along. He was way ahead of me. He loved to mess with the big guy. Stick it to the man, the such. Not always making sense, like this one time at Anime club, he is asked by our club president to take a seat. He says no, and refuses to do anything he's told. He's like a little child sometimes.

Reminiscing aside, he was facing down the Genghis Kahn of female horse riders, trying to clear himself passage over the Himalayas. Or at least the ranch.

"Club members only you spoiled little brat!"

"My Mom's a club member and she gives us permission to go through here."

"Your mother's not here now, is she?"

"Of course not, she's at work! What are you supposed to be doing now?"

"A little side job the manager gives me. Preventing non-club members from passing these grounds!"

I could tell this wasn't going anywhere. We'd save more time if we just went the long way. I told him this, and it was obvious how effective this was. Not at all. So I started to walk back, and there he was, still arguing with her. I turned around and starting to walk back to the road. It was going to be a long, annoying walk, but it was better than waiting in the hot sun for ten minutes, then taking this walk. I head back through the barbed wire and start heading along the road again. Want to know why this can be annoying? I'm not facing head on traffic. The cars sneak up on be, go VROOM! And leave me wondering how I'm still alive. Automolistic bastards.

I am walking along for 15, scorching, annoying minutes when I pull along the street of my home. Willow. A.K.A. Annoying Dog Barking Central. It doesn't take long for it to start. I walk no more than five steps when a WOLF! Pains me ears, and nearly makes me jump ten feet in the air. Then about 200 other dogs head the call, barking like I was Al Capone or something like that. I notice the other end of the shortcut up ahead. I also notice the large dog and the small wall to my right. I see this big, vicious, fast-looking pit bull back up a bit, build up some speed, and jump the fence, going straight after… the shortcut? I see my friend Miles just jump through the exit, with Genghis Kahn right behind him. Fortunately, he made it through in time. It pleasures me to hear her screams.

"Come back here you juvenile delinquent! If I was your mother I'd get out the paddle on you until you taste your buttocks through your mouth!"

Yikes. Unfortunately, Miles' buttocks weren't out of the woods yet, a mean, fast dog was on his tail, and gaining fast. I decide to do what very few others do. Decide to take advantage of this distraction to run for it myself. Besides, Miles' would be fine, he had way too much of a head start for the pit to catch him before he made it home. So I run. The pit bull also seems to know he's not going to make it, which is not good news for me. He notices I'm heading towards him, and that I've still got a 100 yard dash to go after him. I manage to pass him, but I only get about 20 feet before he starts up again. I don't think I've ever ran faster in my life. If there were an Olympic scout there, I'm sure he would have stopped me and given me my tickets to Athens right there. So I run. I'm 75 yards away, the dog's 10 feet back. 50 Yards. 5 feet. At about 40 yards, I know I'm not going to make it. I can almost feel the dog breathing on my leg. I had to do something. I had to do it now.

I quickly turn around and give the dog a giant, swift, kick to the chin. Or at least, that's what I wanted to do. He stepped back and gave me a giant bite in my calf. I saw the blood and flesh tear, and I screamed out in pain. Apparently, that's all the dog wanted to do with me. A almost kick it again as it leaves, but the pain is my first priority. God this sucks.

I manage to turn around and go the other 25 yards, limping in pain. I eventually get home, stumble around for my key, unlock the door, and manage not to bleed all over the carpet somehow. I'm finally home. And now I got to do homework. This sucks.

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THE END


End file.
